ask a dj sept 2005

by svs ~Have you ever been at a party and wanted to know how the DJ just pulled that trick? Ever wondered what all those knobs and buttons do? Perhaps you want to know what color his underwear was? For whatever question you may have had and didn't have the opportunity to ask or you were just to shy, now's your time.

fall3n: Is any / all of your equipment insured, and how often does your gear get jacked up or disappear?

Personally, none of my equipment is insured since normally it never leaves my house. However, due to recent events I'd suggest to everyone that they get their gear insured. I myself have yet to experience the pain of having anything of mine jacked aside from a pair of headphones here and there but I know plenty of people who have lost years and years of hard work due to some gutless culprits. My suggestions to you all, weather you take your gear out or not is to get insurance. Aside from things being stolen you also have to account for damage such as fire and or water damage. I once had the apartment above me leak water all over where my decks were set up. Fortunately I was able to dry it all out and it worked just fine. Cover you bases! As we all know decks, mixers, sound... it all cost a lot of hard earned bucks.

TheSnap: Is it hard beating all the DJ hos off of you WHILE throwing down a dope set and being so refrain hot at the same time?

I remember one time when I was playing at Shattered in Columbia, MO for a show and this girl walks behind the decks and asks me if I have any Alice DeeJay. I politely told her that I do not play that kind of music. She then began to sing the lyrics of the song to me. I told her, "Yes, I know the song, but I just don't play that stuff." After my set her and her friend are still back stage and begin talking to me. One girl says, "This is my friend, we both think you're hot. Do you want to go somewhere." Just then the one girl leans over to kiss me. Shocked at this point and the fact that I'm on stage with hundreds of kids looking I pull away.

At another point and time, I believe during Christmas Massacre 2, this girl was up in front of the decks screaming about how hot I was and how she wanted to do naughty things to me. I just smiled at her and kept on playing. All of a sudden, in mid mix mind you, I hear "whap whap whap whap". I look up and this girl is taking her finger and back spinning one of the records. Needless to say I wasn't too thrilled and she was promptly removed from the party. The whole time they carried her away I could hear her yelling "Oh my god you're so hot. I want to have sex with you." It's so hard being a DJ sometimes.

pdm: At what point in a reverse crab grab scratch do you drop the elbow and go for the flanger?

I've thought long and hard about this and I've come to this conclusion. Never. Unless you're Bad Boy Bill, a member of the X-ecutioners, or Z-Trip (if he would even do so), there really is no point. As a Junglist this whole technique does not appeal to me and quite frankly I don't believe there is a person in this city that is at that level where they can pull such a feat off.

anonymous: If you are a bad DJ, do you suggest hiring dancers or strippers to make sure nobody notices how bad you really are?

I think it's cheesy to be quite honest with you. If your ability to play is based on the fact that you have to have some half naked girl as the focal point then you may want to consider two things. One, quit and work a strip club or two, go back to the bedroom and practice. I've seen many acts that have done this and while the whole shock value is great, it takes away from the purpose of dj'ing and that purpose is the MUSIC. I've seen DJs pull beads out of strippers nether regions, DJs having intercourse on stage, and DJs with strippers dancing around as the DJ train-wrecks their 4th mix in a row. The sad thing is that sometimes the crowd loves it. What's even more sad is the thought that they are apparently not there to listen to a good set. If it works for you and you're getting booked all over because of it more power to you but I'll just stick to my skills behind the decks instead of covering it up with sex.

We're here to answer all your questions. From tricks and tracks to superstitions and love advice. Just mail us.


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